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Alliterating in April

New beginnings, fresh sheets of paper, unused ink, words yet to be written, seeds waiting to be scattered, blooms in the heart.

National Poetry Month is a month for poets to come out of hiding— out of stuffy libraries, out of book-riddled bedrooms, out of tiny offices. It’s when we gather over cups of coffee (or something stronger), to share poems, read work, attend launches, and bask in the glory of our brokenness. One could argue that we do this anyway— but there’s something about April. Something about some poet referring to it as the cruellest month, something about it giving us permission to call ourselves poets.

I always look forward to April—from the frost of winter fading away to the shock of crocuses sprouting up through hardened soil.

I’ve decided to write a handful of ghazals this month, ghazals whose refrains will be chosen by ‘the people’ as it were. I’ve dubbed it “The Ghazal Project”, to make it sound more official, and to hold myself accountable for what will undoubtedly reduce me to many “oh shit, I have to write a ghazal” moments. Every Monday in April, I will post a prompt for my facebook & instagram followers, and will choose one of their responses (namely, a word), to create a refrain for an original ghazal— which I will write, record and publish to be read and heard on Friday.

Wish me luck, folks. I’m going to need it.

In addition to this very ambitious project, my poems are also featured for All Lit Up’s “Woven Odes” interactive constellation of poets (how cool does that sound?!) and the League of Canadian Poets/ American Academy of Poets collaborative collection of poetry for Poem in Your Pocket Day (April 21st).

And then, of course, there are the events. The long running poetry series, the art bar, will be closing its doors this year, so I feel particularly lucky to be featured for a second time on April 12th. Then, on April 17th, I’m offering “Road Maps to the Heart”, a free poetry workshop based on this year’s NPM theme, “the road”. It’ll be fun, I promise. Did I mention I’ll be giving away a gorgeous prize pack? Think notebooks, pens and chocolate.

It’s a packed month– one in which I hope to spend more time reading and writing poems. I encourage you to read poetry from poets you’ve never heard of before— go to your local library and pick up a collection of poems with a title that screams at you to be read. I have no doubt that you’ll find a gem or two.

What are you plans for NPM16? Let me know in the comments!

Happy Reading, folks.

Magic Returns in March

As I write this, I’m laughing at the fact that there is an impending snowstorm on the horizon. March is a month that houses the first day of spring and the last snowstorm of the year. There’s alchemy in that. Magic, even. The magic of transformation. The magic of possibility, and as someone very aptly pointed out to me, physics.

In March, the sun burns hot enough for us to believe winter is over. Snowflakes flutter down from the sky. In March, we are in a state of flux, an in-betweenness, a liminality of sorts. We stand at the threshold of spring and yet the bitter winter wind still blows.

I find that an in-between month like March calls for a letting go and a calling forth. What do we want to remember about winter? what do we want to let go of? What do we hope to plant in spring? What will bloom?

This is a perfect time to clear out the junk of our lives and re-focus our minds and hearts on the work that challenges us, inspires us, brings us joy and deepens our connection to those around us. For me, it is a time to purge (we are selling my childhood home and I’m trying to let go and not be dragged) rejuvenate (nature walks, anyone?) and re-connect (building community in person instead of online).

I like to create mood boards and intentions for different seasons, and spring is no different. On the spring equinox, I join my dear friend and collaborator, Nadiya Virani, to offer our “Envision Spring: Mood Board Workshop”. Nadiya is an astoundingly talented graphic designer who creates beautiful mood boards for her clients and her own creative process. When she shared her winter mood board with me, I was so inspired that I created my own! This is going to be a fun workshop. If you’re in town, join us.

If you’re not, you can still envision your spring.

Imagine that spring has arrived.

Where are you? What are you doing? Creating? Who are you with? What do you hear? feel? taste? What colours do you see?

Write down everything that comes to mind (words, symbols, phrases, feelings, goals, ideas). Imagine your spring 2016 as a colour. Is it lavender? grass green? golden yellow? Choose an object or image of your spring colour ( dried lavender, a photo of an open field, a golden citrine, a paint chip even). Place it somewhere where you can see it every day- on your desk, in your pocket, wallet, or bag.

Let that colour be a reminder of all the things you’d like to achieve and experience this spring.

What colour is your spring?

May your March be magical,

When does your heart feel full?

“Love yourself. Then forget it.
Then, love the world.”
-Mary Oliver

When February rolls around, candy hearts and chocolate boxes come to mind. Romantic love is celebrated, commercially, of course, but it doesn’t give way for loving ourselves. In fact, the pressure of the holiday can be so immense that some people end up feeling unloved. I think that it’s important to celebrate all kinds of love, including love for ourselves.

As a result, I’ve created a list of writing prompts (which you can also respond to with other forms of art- collage, paint, drawing, mixed media, etc).

When does your heart feel full?

What do you love about yourself?

What do you love about your life?

How do you show others love?

How do you like to be given love?

Submit your response here for your chance to win an inspiration package:

Love,

Flourishing in February

Dear Friends,

Wow. Time is passing by quickly isn’t it? With further arts education training and the commencement of my work as a Mentor-Artist for Royal Conservatory’s Digital Media Arts program, January was busier than I had expected. I was also lucky enough to be featured in the Globe and Mail for ‘Hogtown Stories”. I was interviewed about my love for the Aga Khan Museum and my philosophy as a poet.

Read the Globe article here and see more photos here.

And now, February is upon us.

How are you feeling? Be sure to check in with yourself and take stock of how the first month of 2016 has gone for you. Have there been unexpected challenges? opportunities? realizations?

For me, January was a month to commit to my intentions for 2016.

I accepted/declined opportunities based on my guiding questions for 2016. I found that this practice was exceptionally helpful for me– sometimes I have a habit of saying ‘yes’ before understanding the consequences of saying ‘yes’. To have questions that help facilitate my growth and protect me from things that are not in my best interest has been invaluable for me.

My guiding questions are:

“Does this expand my career horizons?”

“Does this feel grounding for myself and others?”

“Does this deepen my practice?”

If you haven’t developed guiding questions for 2016, I encourage you to do so. My questions arose during the process of completing Susannah Conway’s “Unravelling the Year Ahead” workbook. I highly recommend it!

Now that January is over, I’m feeling less anxious and more accepting of the uncertainties that lie ahead. I’ve tried to stop resisting what I can’t control, and have begun to settle into the joy and excitement of not knowing what lies ahead. I think that this acceptance stems from establishing a strong foundation for myself (with my guiding questions) because I am aware of what I am no longer willing to accept, and opening myself up to new possibilities and connections. This is why I chose the word “flourishing” for February. I know it’s an odd word to choose because it’s associated with blooming (in fact, the etymology of the word is closely related to “flower”), but I do believe we are turning the corner of winter and preparing ourselves for spring.

So let’s take this month to settle in and begin to flourish. This way, when spring comes around, our ideas and projects will be in full bloom.

This month, I invite you to respond to this writing/art-making prompt, in the hopes that it’ll help solidify what fills your heart with meaning and joy:

May you flourish in February,

The point of the point

Does it feel as though the year started without you and now you’re desperately trying to catch up?

Does it feel like you’re going somewhere fast but you’re not sure where?

Do you know in your gut that you shouldn’t fight what is unfolding but ride it out instead?

Holy shit, 2016.

I thought you would give me January to settle in and plan for your arrival. Instead, you’ve started running, no, galloping, ahead of me. I’m being dragged along, and I haven’t the faintest clue where we’re going, but for now, I have no choice but to trust you.

—

And what’s with the snuffing out of bright stars? The loss of light when you arrived?

It’s made me think about what the heck I’m doing, and why I’m doing it. It’s forced me to ask questions early on about what you should really be about, and why I’m so afraid of taking certain risks, or why things aren’t coming to me as easily as I hoped them to (expectation: the thing that needs to die but never seems to). The fact that there are artists who will no longer be able to create, share, and experiment with their gifts is devastating to me. It’s also a source of guilt– a wake-up call to act. The only problem is, most of us artists know this feeling and have no idea what to do about it. We agonize over creating, we spill our hearts onto pages and then crumple them up within minutes of writing. We dance in a prism of sunlight seconds before it disappears between the clouds. We are just as fleeting. Just as fleeting.

And to create, to write, to be, to explore, to not know in our knowing– not in an attempt to defy death but to accept its inevitable arrival– that is the trickiest and most challenging task for an artist. At least it is for me. Legacy is not about defying death but our choice to inspire others because we will die.

It honestly pains me to think about it. I just don’t know. I don’t know why I write, or create, or share, when sometimes it feels like no one is listening. Really listening. With mind, with heart, with spirit. The point of creating, of course, is to create. It shouldn’t be about validation, but to nurture a sense of community. When we create, we do it in spite of ourselves. In spite of the pain it takes to write, to share, to be rejected, to be ridiculed, to be silenced. We bear ourselves and break ourselves open so others can recognize themselves in us. We are not looking to be placed on pedestals or applauded for our brilliance. We are asking (pleading, calling, shouting, crying) for others to identify themselves in us. To recognize their stories in our stories. To remind us that we are not alone, and to acknowledge that they’re not alone either.

But when no one reads or listens, what is the point? It’s just an exercise in ego. Ego is the voice separating the creator from the creation, shouting, “I’ve done this” instead of “this did me”. And sometimes, when you’re alone, unheard, and confused, all you hear is that voice. It’s all you hear, because no one else is echoing. No one else is yelling back, “this did me too!”

And yet, maybe anticipating a response is ego too.

Anyone else hear me?

*silence*

Here’s to an Inspiring Year…

Dear Friends,

What a year it has been. Highs, lows, joys, and sorrows. A full spectrum of life in the span of one year. I hope you had some time to reflect upon 2015 & your wonderful achievements (personal and professional), magical moments, memories, and challenges that will remind you of what you need to let go of (and hold onto) in 2016. As my dear mentor Paula Wing said, “Your broken heart is your greatest asset”. People often assume that broken hearts only refer to broken relationships, but I believe brokenness can be a result of many experiences & challenges. It limits the heart to suggest that it can only be broken by a “failed” relationship. Here’s to acknowledging brokenness in all its forms, and letting the light shine through the fragments.

I want to thank you for your support, encouragement, inspiration and presence in my life over the past year. Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable, and giving me safe space to experiment with new ideas & ways of creating. I’ve been able to sharpen my focus on what brings joy and magic to my life and the lives of those around me– and it’s because you have shared your advice, passion and talent with me. For this, I am deeply grateful.

Instead of writing paragraphs, I thought I’d make a list of SOME of the wonderful, ordinary and magical highlights of my 2015. We focus so much on the ‘big’ moments that we forget about the simple, delicate ones. Here goes!

– Curating Spoken Word Series at Aga Khan Museum

– Having a dog named Karma pee on my sleeping bag (no joke)

– Facilitating Creative Writing with Mandalas workshops at the University of Toronto, Scarborough

– Receiving a stack of brightly decorated Thank You letters from grade 6 -7 students I taught in February

– Discovering vegan salted caramel chocolate ice cream bars

– Flying from the Toronto Island Airport for the first time in my life

– Figuring out how to make my own posters/social media promo materials

– Joining Soundcloud & figuring out how to record poetry (listen here)

– Completing my Arts Education Certification at the Royal Conservatory (and receiving the Lois Birkenshaw-Fleming Scholarship in Creative Teaching to complete it)

– Getting to colour every day for 2 weeks in June (see above)

– Facilitating my first Community Mandala ever at the Aga Khan Park & watching my dear friend Whitney French busk her heart out (she wrote custom poems on her typewriter and got ambushed)

– Performing with incredibly talented musicians and poets (the list is waaaay too long- I’m lucky that I have too many poets-musician collaborators to name!)

– Having a self-care/creative day with dear friends, including the remarkable Nadiya Virani (who created my custom-made colouring page) and York Region Art Council’s Exec Director Samantha Rodin

– Facilitating a Creative Wellsprings writing workshop/nature walk at Evergreen Brickworks, and bearing the cold with a smile on my face!

– Making new friends & reaching out to old friends

– Watching workshop participants create their own nature mandalas at Trinity Bellwoods Park as part of my role as Teacher-in-Residence at Artscape Youngplace

– Hosting a reading for the International Festival of Authors at Harbourfront

-Giving Pir Zia Inayat Khan my poetry books & hearing him speak about Sufism

– Laying out a gorgeous spread of snacks for my Tasting Poetry Workshop at the Markham Public Library

– Watching one of my dearest friends get married (Anita Majumdar, you were the most stunning bride I’ve ever seen)

– Offering the “Mapping Ourselves” workshop series at the Varley Art Gallery (Fred Varley happened to be the name of my invisible boyfriend, who I named after a street I saw when I was growing up- little did I know that he was an artist and that I’d be teaching in a gallery named after him 20 odd years later)

– Reconnecting with supremely talented/intelligent cousins, having vegan Thanksgiving dinner with family

– Making a nest mandala by the lakeshore and having a friend I’ve never met discover it by accident!

– Having a picnic by the water with Shiv, and making an underwater spiral mandala together.

There are so many more, but enough looking back. Now it’s time to look forward!

What are your highlights, and what do you hope to create in 2016?

I’m excited to offer wonderful creative programs in 2016 including a tailored workshop program inspired by the League of Canadian Poets’ 2016 theme, “The Road”. Stay tuned for details!

Let’s co-create. Let’s make this year the most magical yet!

Winter Ritual Workbook

Dear Friends,

I hope you are well and warm, and preparing for a wonderful holiday season.

With the Winter Solstice just around the corner and the New Year not too far behind, I wanted to offer you some resources and a workbook to develop a ritual for pivotal transitions during the winter season.

What are you hoping to manifest during the winter season?

How do you hope to honour the transition from darkness to light?

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

HOLIDAY COLOURING PAGE

There is a reason why I chose this particular greeting this year– because as cliche as it may sounds, it’s something that should not be a cliche greeting.

I believe creating, fostering and developing ‘peace on earth’ is something that requires action. It’s an aspiration. A call. Not a passive greeting. This is a radical call for action.

There’s so much shit piling up in the world and it’s incredibly easy to be cynical, antagonistic and polarized. I know this because I feel cynical, antagonistic and polarized almost every day. It’s a heaviness in my head, a pang in my stomach, a cry in my throat. It’s another news story, another hashtag, another call for arms/war/hate.

But I have to keep asking myself– what we can do to counteract it? What can I do? Maybe it’s as simple as NOT doing what comes easy– but doing the hard work of examining how I create discord in my own life and mind.

Maybe it’s as simple as giving people something to enjoy or be inspired by. It doesn’t have to be something unattainably noble. It can be something simple, something ordinary, something that adds up.

So here’s to peace as a verb.

Click on the link below for full size colouring page.

Holiday Colouring Page- shenizjanmohamed.com

Use the hashtag #colourin2016 and tag me on Instagram!

Gratitude to Nadiya V Design for this beautiful custom-made design.

Determined in December

December.

One month before 2015 is over.

December is a month of celebration, but it’s also a month of contemplation. It’s a time to take stock of our lives over the past year– our memories, triumphs, challenges and joys. I hope you’re taking some time to reflect and acknowledge all the wonderful and character-building experiences you’ve had in the past year.

Lately, I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions. Am I elevating my creativity or settling into what is safe, comfortable and familiar?

This year, I have taken new risks and established some wonderful partnerships with organizations and institutions including the University of Toronto Scarborough, the Aga Khan Museum, the Markham Public Library and the Varley Art Gallery. These partnerships have been rich and fulfilling, but whenever I start to see the potential of developing a longer program or partnership, my contracts expire.

I’ve gotten used to the idea of going from one gig to another, one job to another, one commitment to another– and while that makes for an exciting career, it’s not a stable one. It also proves challenging to get comfortable with a routine and a plan for moving forward. Every time I think about what I need to do to create a stronger foundation for myself, I’m too busy trying to balance what I’m already doing.

I often accept gigs because I’ve programmed myself to accept them– I’ve told myself that it’s what I need to do to be in this field. In my early twenties, it was an absolute necessity to network, take every gig I could, and find my ‘creative community’ as it were.

The problem is, I’m still approaching my career in the same way I did when I was just starting out. Well, of course, some things have changed. I feel less guilty saying no to gigs that don’t pay or cover transportation costs. That said, a twinge of guilt remains. There are times when I forget to check in with myself before I say ‘yes’ to a gig or opportunity. There are times when I sit on a bus or run through the rain and mutter to myself about why I accepted a gig that pays so little that I’ll barely break even. I’ve done less of those gigs, but it’s a conscious effort to remind myself before I immediately respond with ‘yes’.

And so, my friends, I’ve had to take a hard look at how I’ve been approaching my career and my career choices. I’ve had to ask myself some tough questions (and still am). Some of the questions I’ve been asking myself are:

•What kind of life do you want to lead?

•What brings you joy and renewal?

•What drains your energy?

•What habits do you need to break?

•What do you need to let go of?

•Who do you need to reach out to?

•What do you need help in doing?

•How can you ask others for help?

The one question that keeps returning to my mind is this one:

To what end?

Sometimes we just accept life as it is because we don’t stop to question what it could be– because we’re afraid that people won’t see the value in what we’re doing, and we will lose the very few opportunities we have worked hard to obtain.

And so, I have to hold myself accountable. Before I contemplate accepting a gig, or doing a project, I have to ask myself “To what end?” How does doing this project or gig fit into the larger vision for my career, and for the life I want to lead?

In my twenties, my focus was on having a life that supported my career. Now, I want a career that supports my life.

In the words of Basho:

“Real poetry, is to lead a beautiful life. To live poetry is better than to write it.”

I know that the successful artists are the ones who collaborate outside of rehearsals and stages. They are able to leverage opportunities to make them more viable and fulfilling. I’ve seen friends of mine, like the brilliant Whitney French, exchange creative services for workshop/rehearsal space when payment is not in the cards.

The focus of 2016 will be more about establishing a community of co-creators and collaborators and developing long-term workshop programs and projects. If you want to collaborate, exchange space or creative services, don’t hesitate to reach out to me.

And I encourage you to ask yourself tough questions.

Let’s be brave together.

May your holidays be filled with inspiration, creativity, quiet reflection and joy. And if you’re in Toronto, join me for my last show of the year.

P.S: Here’s something fun to keep you busy:

HOLIDAY COLOURING PAGE

I’ve been waiting for you…

Breaking Bread

Sheniz Janmohamed

I’ve been waiting for you.

Sit with me a while,

dust off the dirt from your shoulders.

Unburden yourself from the weight

of your worries.

Place the compass of your heart

on the table.

You won’t need to know which direction

it points to.

You have arrived.

Come, sit.

Break bread with me.

Re-collect the stones of your journey

and I’ll show you where I’ve been.

Look at my hands. These lines trace themselves back to nameless rivers,

rivers skeined by dragonflies.

Look at my face. These wrinkles curve themselves into forest paths,

paths that vanish into fog.

Sit down.

Break bread with me.

Pour the wine of wanderlust into my cup,

Tonight is not a night to be sober.

Let’s toast to triumphs and troubles,

to tomorrows that will never arrive, to

this very table, for being sturdy enough to

support our stories.

Cheers!

Cheers! to the sun-soaked laughter of your childhood.

Cheers! to the golden-gleamed smiles of your lovers.

Cheers! to the rain-dampened dreams of your past.

Now, let go.

Break the stone of your memory

Let the pieces scatter on the table

and hold each one up to the light.

Opaque, iridescent, tumbled, or faceted,

hand over your most precious one.

I promise to protect it, preserve it, pocket it.

I will turn it over and over

in my hand,

until my fingers memorize it.

Like bone,

Like blood,

Like breath.