Breaking open was certainly my theme for June– I had to break my heart open to fill it to the brim with gratitude and a renewed sense of purpose. Taking part in the Royal Conservatory’s Level III: Artist-Educator Course was an incredibly rewarding and challenging experience for me. Each day, we showed up with the willingness to bring everything we had into the circle. We were encouraged to play, create, share, experiment in a space that felt safe and nurturing. It reminded me of what it feels like to be part of a community- to share experiences that are sometimes difficult and challenging- but to know there is support.
We were given permission to play. We scribbled ideas in sketchbooks, got our hands dirty with pastels and glue, danced, sang and allowed ourselves to be silly and ridiculous. What a joy it is to remember what it’s like to be a child– and to not feel guilty about it.
We also worked on our dream projects, accessing the heart of what we wanted to do. We were given time for creativity and contemplation.
As we stood in our last circle on the last day of class, I felt a sense of accomplishment but also a pang in my gut. I knew that once our circle dispersed, I’d have to return to the isolation that often comes with being a writer who lives outside of the city.
I’ve had beautiful moments of connection through the workshops I’m offering, but they’re only once a week. There is something about waking up every morning to uncertainty and possibility, knowing that you’ll soon be reunited with your creative family.
So, as we turn the corner of June and enter July, I’m feeling a sense of melancholy. While I’ve tried to fill the gap with journaling, creating, planning, and writing, there’s still something missing.
I know that no matter how creative, innovative and imaginative I can be when I’m in the comfort of my own room, it’s not as fulfilling as creating, innovating and imagining with others.
I know that while phone calls, emails, messages, texts and tweets remind me that I’m not alone in this journey, they do not and cannot replace hugs, jam sessions and communal meals.
I know now that I crave community.
I hope that July’s arrival will bring warmer breezes, sunnier afternoons and jacket-free evenings. And I also hope that it’ll bring more hugs, jam sessions, communal meals and creating with new and old friends.
Write to me, if you feel the same way. Tell me how you feel about COMMUNITY, and what you are hoping to do to participate more actively in a community that reflects the kind of life you want to lead.
Wishing you an inspiring July,